Identity is not something that is set in stone. Even though society seems to see it that way. As a child of the eighties, the mere idea of gender fluidity was absurd. You were either a boy, or a girl. And the closest to fluidity was being a tomboy or a nancyboy. Either way, you were bullied. And the “no bully” thing wasn’t going on then. Now mind you, I am not complaining. It was just how life was. I am pleased to see the progress. For me, the idea of creating who I am now, well it is part of what I want in life. For others it is definitely more painful.
I am “one of the guys” most of the time. The first person who told me that, Scared me. As being one of the guys meant that I was flawed, somehow less female. Still in truth, it is how I am. I am happy working with my hands, no make-up, simple hair and pants. Once in a blue moon, I will get girly. Dress up in flowing skirts and soft boots. I love science and nature, and not just the flowers. I have helped to do landscaping. I have spent time in the pit at the track. I spent summers working on farms. Oh what is that? Girls can do that too? Well yeah… But I was seen as masculine because of it. I was the center for my high school football team (at one of them.) And could out bench the football team (at another). So does that make me a guy? No not really. I think that is the problem. Identity tends to be based on stupid things.
For me, Identity should be less about male/female and more about what you make of yourself. I am not male. I am not female… I fall somewhere in between. I am a poet. I am a mother. I am a writer. I am an artist. I am human. I am a gamer. I am…….