Names

What is in a name,  a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet. ~Shakespeare 
So I have nearly always hated my name.  I have had reasons… And they seemed like good ones.  But it really came down to the fact that I never heard my name unless I was in trouble.  Not my full name anyway.  So I spent a hefty portion of my life looking at other names and feeling envy. I wanted to be anyone else,  and I felt that a lot of it was the name.  My full name is Patricia Lynn Harris.  So common a name.  Google it.  There are hundreds of Patricia Harris’s out there.  As a younger girl I would write as Susan Ann Andrews.  I adored the name Susan.  It seemed to embody all of the desire I wanted. I was even “Sassy Susie” on the Cb radio. 

         It was something that I always assumed would be my pen name.  I am not sure why I put my full name on the first thing I published. It was not something that I really thought out.  I was just trying to have my voice be heard.  After that it was a matter of principal.  I was already out as that name.  To change it felt like I was hiding from the past.  That was not something that I was willing to do.  

         So I did the poetry.  I did the kids books.  And I was doing all of it with who I was. Stories for my girl,  and poetry that was how I dealt with the emotional baggage of life. So I forgot about pen names. I didn’t need one. 

         Then my Joe,  bless him,  decided to be my muse.  He started giving me dark ideas.  Delightful ideas,  ones that I wanted to read. Ideas that hadn’t been written.  However the ideas were violent and really not kid friendly. So I found myself needing a pen name. I wanted something that was more true to who I was. 

              I am pagan.  I have a name that I use in my ritual times.  Serenity Rose Lace. I wanted to at least use some of this name.  So I chose to use a variation on Serenity.  Serena. I also wanted to acknowledge the darkness of what I was wanting to write… So Mossgraves.  It sounded good to me.  

               So that is where my Pen name originated.  What name would you choose,  If you could name yourself? 

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