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If People Talked About Other Things the Way They Talked About Gender Identity.
Fiction: “It’s either a short story or a novel. There’s no such thing as a novella.”
Subatomic particles: “Now they’re saying they discovered ‘tetraquarks’ and ‘pentaquarks’. How many combinations of quarks are there? I can’t even keep up these days. What ever happened to just talking about good old atoms?”
Ice cream: “Avocado is not a valid ice cream flavor because I’ve never heard of it and it does not appeal to me.”
Language: “I don’t care what linguists say, I know a dialect when I see one, and Pennsylvania Dutch English is not a dialect.”
Water: “Water is H20. Ice might parade around pretending to be something different, but we all know that it’s…
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