Throwback Thursday

I don’t usually do pictures of my self here. I usually stick with my art and go…. But I feel like this is the best way of expressing my thoughts here. Each of them are pictures of me at the various stages of life. Picture #1 is child… I think that I was 2? Maybe 3. I had no thought of the future… It was all about living and playing. Picture #2 is my senior year. I made the jewelry I was wearing. I saw everything I wanted in life become impossible. I worked so hard just to find out that life was unfair. I didn’t see myself reaching 30…and I was beyond over caring. I couldn’t go to college. I couldn’t get custody of my son… Life was sucking, but I didn’t care because I could survive. I had friends and family. I was incredibly oblivious and it worked. Picture #3 I was in my early 30’s… I had a toddler. That is the best picture of that time in my life. I was out thousands of miles from home, stuck in what seemed the most foriegn land I would ever know. I had made it… Now what did I do. I was healing my mind and raising my girl. I think that I spent the next few years just asking myself what now. How does one plan for an age they never expected to reach? And when they do, how do you find that steady point? Picture #4…that is 4 years ago. My life is in chaos. That is the year I decided to start a blog. I published more, that is the year two of my kids books and another poetry volume was released. It was the beginning of another chapter in my weird story. I don’t want to put another picture here because I don’t feel like I am in another era for me. I am in my crone phase, and I think that I am rocking it. I am growing. Each day I learn.

When I started with the whole blog thing I was really green. Now I watch my following grow daily. I only hope it is because you are enjoying the content. Thank you for seeing me! Btw Friday will be prompts again and I am hoping to do the monthly links post on Saturday. I am just over 350 following. At 500 I will do a drawing for a hand written or unique drawing from me. Till tomorrow.

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What the Wednesday?!

Found all of these on Facebook and decided that instead of wordless Wednesday I would share my humor with y’all. Mind that none of these are mine.

Ciúnas

Words have power… Sometimes more than we realize. Take the title of this post for an example. It is a Gaelic word for silence. Yet, when spoken silence is broken.

Too many times we speak with no regard for those who hear. We react to our own version of things. It is a flaw in how human beings are made. We are tender underneath. We react when we are in pain, and we are not always nice. I, myself, have been guilty of this. If I were honest, the only regrets I have in life were just that. Speaking from a place of my own pain, without consideration for who I may have hurt in the process.

This quote has been popping up in my life a lot lately. Though I don’t know who said it. It has made me think. Yes, I am crazy. The muddled mind of a half mad poet and all…. But I don’t try to be cruel. I make mistakes. I apologize. But I also try to learn. I am trying to practice ciunas. The silence. The pause.

Some days I need to practice it so I don’t hurt me. Your inner voice is just as easily able to harm as your outer voice can. Only there it just adds to the bleeding. I think that is the hard part… Silencing that damn inner voice.

I struggle with mine. I know that my friends see me as better than I see myself. I asked for a gift for my birthday this year. It will be in two weeks on the thirteenth. I asked for my friends and family to tell me what they liked about me and what irked them. I got five comments. One was a joke (I think, with the guy in question it may have been serious) about more “nekkid pics.” Two couldn’t think of an irksome quality. The other two… Well both of them said the only thing that irked them about me was my self doubt. Self doubt is one of any artist’s sharpest blades.

I think that I am going to try to pack mine in the back of the drawer. It is time to be the artist who I was meant to be. I will today tell the inner voice “Ciúnas! ” and I suggest that you do the same.

Poet spotlight

Hi! This is another spotlight on my amazing poet friends. Today I want to introduce Kim D. Bailey.

When I asked her for a poem to use to introduce her to you all she sent me this powerful piece, which she told me had been published in a blog. I was so tickled that she agreed to be introduced to you all. Her work is often powerful and has a strong voice  throughout it.

How To Help

by Kim D. Bailey


When momma cooked supper I washed
the dishes, while my sister dried, caressing


them like a crystal ball, and we saw
our unmapped futures. Unrequited.


Babies are made this way, we clench
our teeth hold our breath hope for more, sometimes


less. We got what we prayed for, more
than we expected. Nonrefundable.


Momma can’t wash the dishes anymore.
We wring our hands, howl at windmills, feel


the earth fall upon our skin; it clings like
molasses until we are face down. Asphyxiated.


I try to help. My words are sucked
away, my breaths are shallow. A


mountain has formed in the curve of
my spine. My chest is gravel. Scatter


me on fields of
cotton, clothe the world.

 

 


Kim D. Bailey is a 2016 Pushcart Nominee for nonfiction, and a 2018 Best of the Net Nominee for poetry. She is published in several online and print journals and in audio, including but not limited to Firefly Magazine, Tuck Magazine, The Scarlet Leaf Review, Writer’s Digest, Anti Heroine Chic, The Song Is, The 52 Men Podcast, and Tupelo Press. Kim was a columnist for Five 2 One Literary Magazine from June 2016 to October 2017, writing to Breaking the Legacy of Silence. She has also held editorial positions with Firefly Magazine and Sick Lit Magazine. She lives in Pennsylvania with her husband and two dogs.