Day twelve

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This really depends on my state of mind and how tired I am. When I am exhausted and in the sleep deprived silliness… Penis is the funniest word. Otherwise it really is more about context. Any word placed properly can be funny. Although I admit my humor is often very juvenile… uranus is able to elicit more snickers than I care to admit.

Catching a cliche

Well even though my phone was my main way of writing, I found a way. There is an android emulator for windows, Blue Stacks. I have been playing around with it off and on since it first came out a couple of years ago. It doesn’t work as good as my phone did, because the computer is old and slow. But it does work. So I downloaded my Notebooks app. I went to restore…as it has the option from dropbox and google drive.

Wouldn’t you know it, I accidentally backed up on the dropbox and when i tried to restore from Google drive, it couldn’t connect. so I was miserable wondering how i would be able to continue what i had been working on. Then i was looking at Kindle fire tablets. I may try and buy myself one for a birthday gift next week. I was looking in to app compatibility, and got to thinking, So i went to Dropboxes site to see if i could restore an older version of the file. Guess what? I can. So now i am able to write again. I swear i don’t normally do this. Tonight when I was trying to write, I kept ¬†switching every few minutes to scrolling facebook. When I caught myself doing it, I felt like i had caught a cliche…a writer who is surfing more than she writes. Hopefully now that my setup is fixed, I will no longer hunt the cliche.

Blogging

      Well this is an odd thing for me. I often ramble. And I tend to use my blog for two reasons…. either to rant or to “advertise” my writing. So I probably am an odd duck on here. I do not follow the normal way of things. My writing follows language rules and grammar rules.  However I am not one to follow the rules of what is politically correct.  I by my nature am terminally blunt.  That tends to come out in my writing…
                 My blog has taken a bit more random feel as i am trying to write on prespecified topics as well. I enjoy comments because it feels like someone is interested in what I have to say. Since I have started doing this blog I have found a reason to write more than I did before.  And I feel guilty if I am unable to write that day.(usually I end up finding a way.  I can’t sleep until I manage it).

Happy Valentine’s Day.

    Sappy holiday wishes to everyone… yes even you the unloved.  You actually aren’t,  but especially around the holidays,  any and all holidays… it often feels that way.  Or it feels like you are unlovable. Either way it means a miserable day as everyone around you speaks of family and loved ones.  While you just seem so very alone.  If you need someone… don’t be afraid to reach out.  Very likely another person you know is alone. 
                Honestly i dread the time begging around Thanksgiving and ending around Ostara. Not because I don’t enjoy the holiday( even if there is a buttload of them crammed in a four month span). I dread them because the members of my family suddenly expect me to socialize. So it feels forced.  I don’t hear from some of them any other time of the year…. most of them don’t have a clue anything about me (likes/ dislikes,  etc) but because of some overdone holiday…. eh well i believe you understand.  So i end up depressed.  I end up questioning everything. Then I end up considering others who maybe feel the same way. Well this year… it resulted in me reaching out. Please if the holiday is too much… call someone.  Go see someone.  For there is always someone who loves you, whether you realize it or not.

Madness is subjective

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                         Life has a funny way of pushing forward,  no matter how we want to stop and reevaluate.  I have spent a significant portion of my life considering sanity.  Afraid of being mad, and trying to prevent that slide into deeper pockets of madness.  I joke that I am as sane as I have ever been… but to be honest I am not sure sanity is something that truly exists.  I think as a whole the human race has slowly been decending into a state of madness.  We put such a stigma on it.  Just in America there are millions who suffer….yes millions.  a statistics site about mental health. So why do we make these people feel worse for their suffering?  I think it’s a form of fear.  We fear what similarity we see in them.  So we push it away.  Instead, we should try to understand that which drives the mind down such different paths.