Time to update

Photo by Peter Olexa on Pexels.com

Life has been hitting hard for me lately. I had to move out of my home, my life is in chaos. It will stabilize but it will take time. So I am looking at my options. I have been considering making my blog a paid one, so I could add a shop to sell some of the cute Jewelry and other crafts I make. I also am thinking about the other benefits…And I realize that I am looking at this with two blogs possible and debating. I can only do one paid right now. I have more readers here then on the Fae Corps Blog, even though I maintain both. I may see about combining them. Making it work that way…But I want to get your opinions. Should I combine the two blogs? Expand and make it bigger and better, hopefully. or should I choose one to go paid with?

I will not be able until the first to do it, so chime in with your opinion. I am also about to ask my partner and our marketing girl. So it is not just a random ask. I am looking at options.

Publication, and the snarls within

I have been proudly Indie Publishing for a decade now. I am always looking for better platforms. Better tools, not just for me, but for the other authors I work with. I like Draft2digital for their eBook option. We are looking at other Print options for the future. The pandemic has caused a few errors in the print that has us concerned. Also other places offer hardback, which we have been unable to do before. I have been reaching out, submitting my work to other presses to get more eyes on my writing.

I have no intention of naming names, but I have come to the conclusion that not all of the small presses are created equal. I honestly believe that you need both smarts or heart to do anthologies. Some of the presses possess this. They understand dealing with writer’s is choosing to deal with chaos. I find that this will be the last time I involve myself with at least one of them. For I feel less than appreciated. I will be in the anthology, but I will not be listed as one of the authors with amazon…there was only enough room to list the editors….

To me that feels like I am being told that I have less to be proud about with the anthology than the editors do….so I think I may decide to not talk about it….

Whispers of the Future

The kid is asleep, So I thought I would take the time to do an update here. 2020, for all that it has sucked, has taught me a lot. I updated most of the covers on my poetry volumes this year, but I really have not looked at the interior of any of them since I published them…until recently.

Now don’t get me wrong…I did not publish anything badly, I just can clean it up and make it look a little nicer. So I have decided that is what 2021 will be. I have a full schedule with Fae Corps…We have multiple authors who have entrusted their books in our care. And there will be 3 anthologies for fae corps. I have one I am hoping to release (Wisdom: Grandmother’s Words). So instead of trying to release any new poetry volumes in 2021, I think that I am going to update and re-release my older volumes.

Changes in staff at Fae Corps is making this year coming exciting…and scary. Fae Corps is growing. We have up till now just had Cyndi and I doing whatever needed to be done. That left both of us stuck with marketing, something that neither of us are normally that good at. Now we have KT. Due to a difference in opinion we lost our consulting editor. We decided on official roles. Cyndi is our Developmental editor, I am the Copy editor. I do the Cover designs, KT does the marketing, and the scheduling. We also take projects for authors who do not choose to publish with us. Cyndi took an editing job that ended up choosing to publish with us after.

So with Fae Corps being so busy, I feel like I should plan my own writing projects to be lighter.. Not nonexistent, just lighter. Song of Shadow releases December 1st, 2020. I also am in the Coffee House Writer’s Anthology Volume 1 which is available for preorder. Serena is working hard to get stories ready for Fae Corps 2021 anthologies, and has one coming out in Circle City’s An Absurd Apocalypse. (It’s only a flash fiction, but I read it and it is cute and funny). 2020 was a busy year writing and publishing wise. I submitted to a project for Indie Blu(e) publishing which I hope to hear whether it is accepted after the first of the year. (Another small press with big talent that I want to support) So even though I am planning to do clean up on older volumes in the upcoming year…as you can see it will be a busy year.

Of Course I will still be working with Coffee House Writers, and I am still working on the two new volumes…I am just not rushing to put them out over the next year. Maybe I can do a re-release a month and see what else I can squeeze in from there.

time for a pause.

I don’t often post pictures of my daughter or myself, not on here. Today it seems important. I got a call this morning, while making breakfast and listening to her laughter as her and her dad were picking at each other.

I took her to the doctor yesterday. She is asthmatic, and her left lung has been hurting for a couple of days. She also had other concerns and needed shots. So the doc sent her for a chest X-ray.

That call was the nurse from the Doctor’s office. The X-ray came back as she has pneumonia. They want a covid test. And my heart dropped into my stomach. Since the pandemic hit we have been very careful. We don’t go anywhere, at least nowhere unnecessary. We are both asthmatic and her dad has emphysema. The whole lot of us are high risk.

So I am scared. I have a 16 year old stubborn girl who is going to need to rest… and like her mama, she is not inclined towards rest often. She is a busy bee with multiple things that she is wanting to do at any given moment.

We are just about to go out to get her covid test… and I am worried.

So I am probably not going to be posting this week due to this. I will be back next week, and I am going to try to be more active. thank you for understanding.

Tuesday Tunes

A day for me to discuss music

Alec Benjamin – if we have each other

Lyrics She was 19 with a baby on the way
On the East-side of the city, she was working every day
Cleaning dishes in the evening, she could barely stay awake
She was clinging to the feeling that her luck was gonna change
And, ‘cross town she would take the bus at night
To a one bedroom apartment, and when she’d turn on the light
She would sit down at the table, tell herself that it’s alright
She was waiting on the day she hoped her baby would arrive
She’d never be alone
Have someone to hold
And when nights were cold
She’d say
The world’s not perfect, but it’s not that bad
If we got each other, and that’s all we have
I will be your mother, and I’ll hold your hand
You should know I’ll be there for you
When the world’s not perfect
When the world’s not kind
If we have each other then we’ll both be fine
I will be your mother, and I’ll hold your hand
You should know I’ll be there for you
They were 90 and were living out their days
On the West-side of the city next to where they got engaged
They had pictures on the walls of all the memories that they’d made
And though life was never easy, they were thankful that they stayed
With each other, and though some times were hard
Even when she made him angry he would never break her heart
No, they didn’t have the money to afford a fancy car
But they never had to travel ’cause they’d never be apart
Even at the end
Their love was stronger than
The day that they first met
They’d say
The world’s not perfect, but it’s not that bad
If we got each other, and that’s all we have
I will be your lover, and I’ll hold your hand
You should know I’ll be there for you
When the world’s not perfect
When the world’s not kind
If we have each other then we’ll both be fine
I will be your lover, and I’ll hold your hand
You should know I’ll be there for you
You should know I’ll be there for you
I’m 23, and my folks are getting old
I know they don’t have forever and I’m scared to be alone
So I’m thankful for my sister, even though sometimes we fight
When high school wasn’t easy, she’s the reason I survived
I know she’d never leave me and I hate to see her cry
So I wrote this verse to tell her that I’m always by her side
I wrote this verse to tell her that I’m always by her side
I wrote this verse to tell her that
The world’s not perfect, but it’s not that bad
If we got each other, and that’s all we have
I will be your brother, and I’ll hold your hand
You should know I’ll be there for you
When the world’s not perfect
When the world’s not kind
If we have each other then we’ll both be fine
I will be your brother, and I’ll hold your hand
You should know I’ll be there for you
You should know I’ll be there for you

My 2 cents so much has gone on this year and I needed some happy with the music. so I chose upbeat and happy survival music. rock on.

Friday, really?

This has been a crazy month so far. Fae Corps is releasing 4 anthologies on the 31st, and I have been busy getting them ready for release. Then I get a seasonal crud. So I have been sick for the last two days.

I am starting to feel better and I look into the blogs (as I am often the one that maintains the Fae Corps blog). I did a few planned posts and decided to read the blogs that I follow to find a few to spotlight. Y’all! I literally had an angry comment on one of the shared posts claiming that I posted it without permission. I have taken the post down, unfollowed the blog in question, and blocked them so I will not accidentally see them and reblog anything by them.

I was under the impression that reblogging gave the post more reach. Which seems like more people seeing what you wrote is better? I don’t know.

I am not going to dwell on this. Instead I will let you know that we have a newsletter now (see the Fae Corps blog). We are always looking for stories and poems to feature on both. I like to link directly to the persons site when I feature people.

I have a few more people in our author spotlight file to still post on the blog… I have not forgotten. Once the meet the author for the new anthologies are done I will be returning to focus on those.

So, it’s Saturday

I know that I missed all last week.

I have been struggling with files for four anthologies. Trying to get it all to shine. I have been fighting my own self doubt. I have been working on trying not to feel like I have to do it all.

That is probably the worst thing about me, that feeling like I have to do it all, like I can’t lean on anyone else or I will burden them. Because I am, in my own mind, never good enough. I work extra hard to attempt to be seen as even half of the capable as the others around me. And then I end up intimidating the ones that I admire. Intimidating and hurting, because they end up feeling that they cannot possibly do as much as I do. While I am feeling that I am a screw up because I am dropping balls that I should have never tried to carry at all.

Balls bounce, and I can often grab them in rebound, but the hurt… I regret that. I try to be a good person. I try to do everything right… Even though I often do not have a clue what right actually is. So sometimes all that I can do is see the balls drop, and apologize for causing the hurt.

I read somewhere that the truest apology was changed behavior. This is where I truly fail. I try. But in some ways it is like an addiction. I have to put myself in that mess. I have to try to be the one that is doing the overwhelming of myself. It is my toxic trait.

Because I want to be seen as amazing… And there is the voice in the back of my head that is always going to tell me I am not.

That voice we all have. It’s mean. It bullies us into believing the lie… AND it is a lie. I am not worthless. I am talented and I am loved. I have been improving at art, writing, cover design, and publishing. I have been improving with all of my skills that have been a struggle… Except for dealing with interpersonal relationships.

I am sorry for those who I hurt when I am dropping the balls. I am sorry for the heartache that I cause in those who love me. I am not going to say that I will try to do better, because I should not lie, even to myself. However I will say that when I am struggling with the mental gremlins, and fighting for the strength to share the load… I am so very grateful that I have you all in my life.

You are amazing. You all keep me going. And I only hope that my own stubborn nature will not end up pushing you away.

Cal for Submissions – personal.

Ok. I am doing this as a personal project. I am putting together my grandmother’s stories and poetry my boyfriend’s grandmother wrote. But I want it to reflect the wisdom of all grandmothers. So here is my request.

Do you have a story that you remember your grandmother (abuela) telling? Or a bit of poetry they wrote that you would love to see in print? Try submitting it for this anthology. I am busier than I have any reason to expect – so I am setting the deadline for December first with a expected publishing date of the first of January.

I am also accepting art. I only ask that it is from your grandmothers. And that you are able to give consent for me to publish it.

To submit email the creation and a small introduction (preferred with a picture) of your grandma who created it. The address for this is authorpoetpatriciaharris@gmail.com

The above image will be the cover. I realize that this is gender biased. I feel like I have more from the amazing women who I am decended from than I do the men. And since I have been wanting to honor my maternal grandmother… This was born. Maybe I will someday do a call for grandfather lore… But first I need to do this.

Also… Notice that this is not a Fae Corps Inc project. There is a couple of reasons. One – this is a very personal project. I have been wanting to do it for a little while. Two – Fae Corps Inc has projects planned for the next two years. I will be posting the next call for submissions for them in November. The deadline for it will be after the first of the year. I want to release this with the new year.

oVERLOad In PrOGress

I normally juggle the balls in my life reasonably well. Author, blogger, editor, formatter, artist, friend, CHW poet, poet, game master, cover designer, mom, teacher, housewife, publisher….

These hats all are comfortable. I can deal with the multiple things happening at once. Not Today. this week has been one nightmare after another. Me making mistakes that I normally avoid.

Including missing posts on my blog. And then realizing that I am too stressed to know what to post all week. Fae corps has 4 volumes coming out at once(fae dreams, and 3 volumes of Nightmare Whispers) and one of the volumes is causing Technical difficulties.(Fae Dreams). Said difficulties are because I missed details, so I am being extra hard on myself. I am fighting those gremlins that come from it. However I am dropping balls because of it. I will try to get a couple of things back on track and figure out something to post. So please stay tuned…this may be an unusual week….but bear with me.

I may just post a couple of reviews to get me through the rest of the week….