This is one of the hardest topics. After all, most days I feel like I am a failure at being a parent. Am I? Many say no. But, still I feel the strain. Today, I found myself angry. Not at my daughter, but at my mother. An old hurt came forth from a new wound.
Now, Since becoming a mother I find myself asking how much of my issues with her stem from normal teen angst. But, somethings….
My daughter is beautiful. And I try to protect her from those with the lack of vision to see her as she is. Today that included my own mother, who sees things no differently than she did when I was a teen. Which is really her loss. Through my anger and misery, I reached out to friends. Friends who could listen to me rant and understand the pain behind it.
The pain of a society that feeds the stigma my mother uses. Big equals unhealthy. The whole situation was that my teen was 250 lbs. She, through healthier choices and adding excersize has lost 20lbs. She also gained an inch. So today when we went to a local health fair, a doctor at the hospital used her height and weight to determine her bmi. She was told it was within normal range.
I tried telling my mom, thinking that she would be proud of my baby. I forgot that my mother was always harshest about my weight. So when my mom responded that the doctor lied and that my daughter was not in normal BMI for her height, my heart broke. Instead of another soul to encourage a little girl struggling with her self image I had found another to tear her apart. I will not allow it. This is where I am becoming the parent I want to be.
To those who would have negative views of her….
I will not allow your issues to hurt her! She is healthy, and still working out who she is to be. Maybe I am overweight, but when I look at her I do not see numbers. I see a beautiful, sensitive child who is already struggling. I teach her about healthy choices and I let her decide how she will be. She is still growing. She has already gotten taller than I. She will reach the stars! And I will not allow your issues to stop her. Your judgement is unwanted, and if you cannot see her amazingness then you are not needed in her life!
A mother tired of judgements
I normally use my personal fb page for sharing the rare gofundme, but this is an orphanage in need. Please if you can help it will go along way! If not let’s pass it along to find the ones who are able to help!
mountain star orphanage Kenya
First off, I apologize for being a day late in posting. The headache monster visited yesterday, so I got little of my work accomplished.
Villains are tricky. We as writers often see the villain as a tool, two dimensional concept of evil…as a reader though I am here to tell you that is the end of a story. Even worse than plot holes, a two dimensional villain is enough to ruin an otherwise great story.
I have a sure fire way of testing my villains. I give them flaws, make them as realistic as I can. Then I imagine them in town and let the mental movie unfold… I as I am watching ask myself three questions…
1) Is the character sympathetic? A villain who we can sympathize with will make the story more interesting. Also I am one who thinks that the story should leave the reader wondering if they are happy with the villains defeat.
2) Is there a way to defeat the villain? Though I think that the villains defeat should raise questions about how the reader feels about it, defeat is usually in the life of a villain. And a overpowering villain is often no fun for the hero… Unless the story is not supposed to get the happy ending.
3) what are the traits that are showing up most with your villain? Has s he/ she got flaws or traits that you should pay closer attention to? A good villain often has fears, and accomplishments that they are proud of. This makes a far more rounded character. Villains are still characters, and the story is best when you treat them as such!
Who is my audience? As an author there is not a day that goes by that I am not asking myself this question. I have, I think come to a decision on it. My children’s books: the audience is fairly obvious. Children. I really write them for my daughter (and now my grandson). Which is why I believe that the third bedtime stories will be mid grade. The first two were stories written for her when she was small. The third started for a preteen. (And now she is helping me write it. She was suggesting ideas for the story and is looking forward to hear it when it is done. She refused me reading it until then.) But I write more than just children’s books.
My poetry I have always written for me. So do I really have an audience for it? Yes, and no. It is always going to be how I cope with the world… It is more that then it is written for a particular audience. That being said, the reason why I published it is because my coping mechanisms can possibly help someone else who may be in a bad place. Or not, I am not sure it matters there. My poetry is the clearest view inside of my soul. To tell the truth I publish it because I can. I have lost so much of my poetry over the years… This is the way of preserving it digitally so I will not lose anymore.
Last but not least, there is Serena’s stories. Anything that I write that is adult in nature will be published under Serena Mossgraves. Currently that seems to be horror. I am not sure if it all will be… I just know that I will not be doing erotica… It embarrasses me to write it. So I figure her audience will be adults, preferably who enjoy what I write.
All seems simple enough. I only hope that I am able to create a story that someone likes.
Recently I asked for advice on my poetry… And it got me thinking. The advice was given that I need to add smilies and metaphors in my poetry, because there is no poetry with out it. Now mind you I added some images, but some poems just do not work with either. I feel like I am missing something by refusing to accept that all poetry must have either of the two options. But, then I start to question… Who is writing the poem?
Yes, I employ both in my poems, but not always. Some poems are just emotions in written form. If all poetry was just comparison then where is the original ideas? Images do not have to be a comparison to be evocative. Sometimes the more you compare the emotional state with something else, the more you lose of the original idea.
Do not get me wrong… I am grateful for the opinions offered, after all it made me look closer at what I was writing and add more imagery. I however am not sure that I am willing to completely change my voice because it doesn’t fit another person’s idea of what poetry should be.
What do you expect when you read poems? Which of the poetry styles /rules are a hard and fast thing for you? Please do respond. I would love to discuss this idea further.
Yes, I am slow sometimes in responding on Twitter or the like. Doesn’t mean that I am less likely to do so. The problem with apps like crowdfire and similar is that it takes away from the socializing. You are sending out blanket messages and showing that all of your concern is the numbers. People are not numbers…. And they never should be. You can miss some amazing interaction and the amazing ideas behind the individual by using those apps. As a writer, I love stories. Each person is made up of a unique set of stories that came from their unique life. Why would anyone deny themselves the opportunity to hear them? Of course you will find the occasional troll. But if you are willing to allow them, even trolls can teach you about people. Social media outlets are for being social…. Quit automating that.
Just like the
Freedom a lie,
In the land of
Stolen from life,
Forced to live
No longer human,
A bought toy
Forced to endure.
No one sees
What is left of me.
Except a commodity.
(Just a note)
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