Faery Playtime

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So my Sister Redbird and I are doing a secondary Blog, We attempted this before…but it fell apart due to various factors. So we fixed those and are trying again. It is a blog to discuss ways of improving one’s outlook on life. Faeries, recipes, DIY and more… go check us out.

https://mindfulfaespiritualgardening.wordpress.com/

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Preparing New Year goals

I Know it seems early to consider my goals for the new year…but I am not one who does well with “new years” goals. I do have a lot of changes coming for 2018. I have been asked to assist my sister doing a new blog/newsletter that we may try to turn into magazine later. It will be posting weekly(thankfully I am not the only blogger on this so the schedule should be able to be depended on)

Spiritual Gardening with the Mindful Faeries

Life is also settling down for me some, so I am hoping to update this blog at least twice a month as well as doing that.
I am well over half done with Rust, Gore, and the Junkyard Zombie…and the poetry volume Word Petals. So there will be some book releases that can be expected from both Serena and I. Serena has a couple of stories she is working on, and a couple of stories planned. I have two children’s books in the works as well as my poetry volumes.
This time of year tends me towards self doubt and introspection, as it does many of us. So please be patient with me and I will hopefully be able to give you more to ponder in the days ahead.
In the meantime, Go check out the Spiritual Garden and be prepared for the Mindful Faeries to help your knowledge grow!

Energy sapping Monsters

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With so much requiring our attention, this time of year is not always a productive time for us writers. Well at least in a personal sense. Between Nanowrimo and the November PAD challenges, and other writing, there is more than enough people looking for our attention. Add in normal Seasonal blues that many have, and it can be overwhelming.

Personally, I find myself an anxious mess about the amount I am expected to join in. I chose not to do Nano this year because of the amount of stuff I have going on in my personal life…still I am finding that other writers are looking for me to join. I am so glad that I have friends that include me. There is always something to be said for that.

I have been doing the PAD challenge. I also have managed to get a bit farther in Rust, Gore and the Junkyard Zombie.  I believe that 2018 will be a wonderful year for book releases. Many wonderful writers are doing Nano this year. I am cheering them on.
However, with all that I have going on, life is weighing heavy on this girl right now. It means that I am finding my spoon supply a lot smaller. Forgive me my sweet ones if I fail to post more that a couple times during the next two months. I will do my best to keep all my balls I am juggling in the air, but if one falls…I will just have to dust myself off and try some more.

Holidays burdens

In our society there is so many choices. Things become somehow expected and so many of us end up overwhelmed. Addiction and depression drag us into deep meaningful arguments. We often feel alone during this time of year, a time when family and socializing is expected.

The problem is that we are not all social. We do not all have loving families to make us strong during the cold months. If you care for someone, please I beg you….check on them. Not everyone knows how to express that feeling. How to say they are struggling, and those that do are often hesitant because it feels like they are a burden.

Sometimes just knowing that someone hears us, that someone is on the other side of the phone….it can make a difference.

Holiday traditions

I remember as a kid roaming on Halloween to decorated houses asking for candy. Mom didn’t have to walk with because I stayed in my neighborhood. I had the other kids to walk with me. When I grew too old to trick or treat Mom threw a halloween party.

I look around now at the neighborhoods, and find I am sad. Not many decorate anymore. When my teen was of the age to go we did trunk or treats because it felt safer. The one time we did the trick or treat in the neighborhood thing I was scared by a guy giving out funky shelled boiled eggs.

Now that she is too old for the trick or treat thing I find myself looking at what traditions I want for the holiday from now forward. We decided this year to do a horror/halloween movie marathon. I want to move away from Candy focused activities. To me it seems like so much of Halloween has vanished and I am at a loss as to how to fix it.

What traditions do you have, and why?

Pheonix ashes

I am learning to be a new person, in order to do that I have to quiet the mental gremlins. That is harder than it sounds. I am a survivor. And I am tired of surviving. No, I am not suicidal. But I am trying to change the direction of my life. I am trying to make it where I no longer am having the string of disasters that my life has been up till now.

What that means for me? It means for to start I let my art and my words flow. I continue to put myself out there. I consider writing the memoir that I have been told was something I need to do. That will probably be some of the hardest words I write. I have shared a few of the stories.

To ease some of the panic, I will say that I don’t know if I will publish it. If I do it will be under a pen name.

Parenthood

This is one of the hardest topics. After all, most days I feel like I am a failure at being a parent. Am I? Many say no. But, still I feel the strain. Today, I found myself angry. Not at my daughter, but at my mother. An old hurt came forth from a new wound.

Now, Since becoming a mother I find myself asking how much of my issues with her stem from normal teen angst. But, somethings….

My daughter is beautiful. And I try to protect her from those with the lack of vision to see her as she is. Today that included my own mother, who sees things no differently than she did when I was a teen. Which is really her loss. Through my anger and misery, I reached out to friends. Friends who could listen to me rant and understand the pain behind it.

The pain of a society that feeds the stigma my mother uses. Big equals unhealthy. The whole situation was that my teen was 250 lbs. She, through healthier choices and adding excersize has lost 20lbs. She also gained an inch. So today when we went to a local health fair, a doctor at the hospital used her height and weight to determine her bmi. She was told it was within normal range.

I tried telling my mom, thinking that she would be proud of my baby. I forgot that my mother was always harshest about my weight. So when my mom responded that the doctor lied and that my daughter was not in normal BMI for her height, my heart broke. Instead of another soul to encourage a little girl struggling with her self image I had found another to tear her apart. I will not allow it. This is where I am becoming the parent I want to be.

To those who would have negative views of her….

I will not allow your issues to hurt her! She is healthy, and still working out who she is to be. Maybe I am overweight, but when I look at her I do not see numbers. I see a beautiful, sensitive child who is already struggling. I teach her about healthy choices and I let her decide how she will be. She is still growing. She has already gotten taller than I. She will reach the stars! And I will not allow your issues to stop her. Your judgement is unwanted, and if you cannot see her amazingness then you are not needed in her life!

Signed

A mother tired of judgements