time for a pause.

I don’t often post pictures of my daughter or myself, not on here. Today it seems important. I got a call this morning, while making breakfast and listening to her laughter as her and her dad were picking at each other.

I took her to the doctor yesterday. She is asthmatic, and her left lung has been hurting for a couple of days. She also had other concerns and needed shots. So the doc sent her for a chest X-ray.

That call was the nurse from the Doctor’s office. The X-ray came back as she has pneumonia. They want a covid test. And my heart dropped into my stomach. Since the pandemic hit we have been very careful. We don’t go anywhere, at least nowhere unnecessary. We are both asthmatic and her dad has emphysema. The whole lot of us are high risk.

So I am scared. I have a 16 year old stubborn girl who is going to need to rest… and like her mama, she is not inclined towards rest often. She is a busy bee with multiple things that she is wanting to do at any given moment.

We are just about to go out to get her covid test… and I am worried.

So I am probably not going to be posting this week due to this. I will be back next week, and I am going to try to be more active. thank you for understanding.

Tired Tuesday

I am an Introvert. I am slightly agoraphobic. I really only go outside to get supplies or to go to the doctors. So, I don’t understand most of the time, why people avoid being home. (Note that when I say outside…I consider outside to be beyond my fenced in yard.)

I don’t watch the news…for my own mental health…people tend to hurt other people in the news. My soul is bruised by just reading about it. So I avoid the headlines. My main source of information tends to be seeing something on social media and then following my own curiosity to find the truth.

I have been trying to avoid the panic that is going along with the COVID-19 pandemic. I have been trying to publicly share educational activities on my Facebook page. Mostly because I realize that many people are facing children who are bored and have no idea how to deal with that.

We as a society have become dependent on being told what to do, and have been trained that school is for keeping our children busy. Life doesn’t always work that way…but we have become comfortable with it.

Now this was not a post to complain about societal issues. It came about because in a time of panic…I found that for Tuesday tunes I was unable to pick a song to offer hope…The only songs I could think of were apocalyptic. That is not good for me or you. So instead I will just say I am tired. I am tired of panic. I am tired of worry. I am tired of feeling helpless. Something that I am willing to bet many others feel. So…I am instead offering resources.(Copied from posts yesterday.) And I am asking if you would help me. let us gather together ideas to assist bored children to learn and families who are suffering to find assistance. State the country if it is not USA or international please.

I’m starting with graphics I found. Some of the sites are duplicated, but it provides a good variety.

Now some links…. These are for stuff to do with children still.

The next links are for assistance.

Okay. That is the resources that I have (Mostly). I may be posting a list to Facebook later of Educational Youtube channels. or I might post it here…not sure. Regardless…let us add to this list. Gather together and support those who are struggling with the lack of humanity today. understand that not all of us can handle being in our own space. And be safe!!!

Tuesday Tunes

Steampianist – Thing

Lyrics – A distant lullaby, dying from my sight
A glow is amiss, fleeting from my side
Oh why, oh why
Alone in a cruel world
Leaves me
Cold and curled
But then
Eyes that gleam
A glow returns once more it seems
I want hair like yours
I want hands like yours
I want fingers that curl in the cold like yours
I want eyes to stare
And to cry
When I’m feeling scared like you
Just like you
Soft lullabies, never leave my side
Glowing warm fur and gleaming round eyes
Isolated no more
My friends
Don’t struggle there is no point
You’ll never be alone
From now
Never leave
Struggling only make the hugs much tighter
I want hair like yours
I want hands like yours
Fingers that curl in the cold like yours
I want eyes to stare
And to cry
When I’m feeling scared like you
Just like you
I want hair like yours
I want hands like yours
Fingers that curl in the cold like yours
I want eyes to stare
And to cry
When I’m feeling scared
Like you

My 2 cents- I am new to this song. I was drawing a blank as to the song to pick today… There are just so many good options… So I asked my 16 year old to suggest a song. Now mind you, she is where I go to for new music. Her tastes tend to run the gauntlet, but she usually suggests songs that I fall in love with. She appears to have chosen a Gothic tune to share this time. I love the melody and the lyrics are really good.

So since I got today’s song from her… I ask you, what song would you want to share with me?

Birth, life, and all that entails

I’m not usually one to do family pictures and such… But I am feeling my age today. Tomorrow my youngest turns sweet 16. She is amazing. She loves gaming and horror. She is very into the goth aesthetic. She takes no crap off of anyone. She is Badass at discovering new music, and creative as all get out.

My eldest (far right) is 30 and has two growing boys of his own. He is a volunteer fire fighter. He is hard working and a good father.

The third was my middle child. I was unable to keep him. I chose to give him up for adoption. I have been lucky enough that he has welcomed me back into his life as a friend. He is a delightful young man who is starting a good life. He writes poetry as well.

I am incredibly blessed with the 3 of them. And as I am looking at my youngest growing up on me… I think that I want to take the day in introspection.

Thursday Tea

Hello lovelies! I am having a coffee day, but as I have been saying all along… The tea table has options.

My life at the moment has been so busy that I don’t have much of an update on writing…. Though I do want to remind everyone that the deadline for submissions to Through the Sunshine is tomorrow! I am going to be posting something in the Fae Corps blog as well. Remember that this is just for first drafts. We can only take the ones who get that first draft in under the deadline…

Life has been busy here. We finally got the contract to buy our house. And I have a birthday girl turning 16 next week. My suv needs to be taken in to get tires replaced. And we are still rehabbing a couple of rooms in the house. Add the stress of all of this and Dr’s appointments, and everything else… You can see why I have been doing less on the writing front.

I am hoping that things settle some in February and I can get Heart Drops written some. I have spoken with my illustrator about Dylan’s next adventure. She is having life hit her as well, so Dylan may not be able to get finished for a couple of months. I will keep you updated.

I am going to be trying to schedule Tuesday’s post as I am going to be spending as much time as I can with my day with my princess. 2020 is shaping up to be a very complex year for me.

Tuesday Tunes

Unlike Pluto – Sanity

Lyrics – When you’re all fucked up from a little bad luck and
Somehow your mind will start to go away
Fucked up from life’s dark touch and
You curl up and hope that it’ll go away

I fall, you fall
Let’s have a ball
Drag you below
Cuz we’re all goners anyway
Just take my hand
No time to waste
I’m off the case
My mind is on a holiday
I’ll check back in another day

Cuz I’m losing my, losing my, losing my soul
Losing my, losing my mind is first to go
Losing my, losing my, losing my soul
Losing my, losing my sanity is gone

I’m losing my, losing my, losing my soul
My sanity is gone

Cuz when I fly, Houston we got a problem
When I drop, I don’t know why I’m even here
It’s fucked up, cuz sometimes it’s fun
And I think that you need to lighten up a bit

On my call, we jump
Then we’ll collide
Drag you below
Cuz we’re all goners anyway
Just take my hand
No time to waste
I’m off the case
My mind is on a holiday
I’ll check back in another day

Cuz I’m losing my, losing my, losing my soul
Losing my, losing my mind is first to go
Losing my, losing my, losing my soul
Losing my, losing my sanity is gone

I’m losing my, losing my, losing my soul
My sanity is…

What you want from me
I’m insane today
It’s not going away
Live my life today
Roll the dice and say
I wouldn’t have it any other way

My 2cents – well I am far from the most music savvy person in my house. That honestly belongs to my kiddo. She came to me last week all excited… “Mommy, Unlike Pluto has a new one!” So we listened. Honestly it is a good song. It has a good beat and feel to it.

Tuesday Tunes

Today I chose an older song. It’s temporally appropriate. Today, twenty one years ago, I made the choice that the song talks about. Today he is 21. Happy Birthday.

Michelle Wright

He would be 16.

She gets in her car,
October Friday night.
Home from work down
thirty-one, past Franklin
She can see the
stadium lights, she can hear
the band. A thousand crazy
high school kids screamin’
in the stands.
Quarter-back and home-
coming queen, love to young
to know what it means.
She goes back in time oh in
her mind, its like a dream.

He would be sixteen. The son she
never knew. It hurt so much to
give him up, but what else could she do?
He would be sixteen.

A child should have a home.
she knows her folks were right.
She never heard the couples name,
just that they were nice.
She wonders if he’s taller than his father was?
Does he drive a car by now?
Has he been in love?
She shakes back to relatity.
She knows things turn out the way
they should be. But she just can’t
help but ask herself; does he know about me?

He would be sixteen. The son she
never knew. It hurt so much to give him
up, but what else could she do?
He would be sixteen.

She never even got to hold him!
And nights like this it hurts to miss
the son shes never seen.
He would be sixteen.
He would be sixteen.
(lyrics end)

Adoption is not an easy choice. I at the time felt like I was giving him his best chance. It was my own decision… However, it affected so many. I have been lucky, I have been able to know my child. He is an amazing young man. Still, I could have ended up like the girl in this song.

Friday wrap up

(*image from Google.)

Well, I have been away. It was why I was not updating this week. I rented a car on Monday with a plan in mind… Yeah, as usual, nothing went as I planned.

The plan was to go to North Carolina and see my brother. Then I would head slightly north to see my eldest son and meet my newest grandson. From there I would go up to the hotel room I rented near my childhood babysitter and my dad.

I got half way to my first stop, running behind… It took over an hour to rent the car due to a bank snafu. My brother is not too far from my best friend. She lives roughly an hour to an hour and a half from him. Now, mind that I had not been able to do the in person meet with her yet. So I kinda figured that I would stay half an hour to an hour with my brother… Yeah… Lol, I think I ended up staying three. I knew that neither my brother nor my son had the space for my daughter and I. I also realized that making it to my motel was not happening that day.

I asked my bestie if I could come meet her. I was not sure yet what I was going to do about sleep. We would cross that bridge when we got there. If nothing else we would crash in the car. Of course she agreed, and insisted that we crash on her couch. (She has a huge couch that easily fit both of us). She fed us and we enjoyed the visit. We stayed there overnight and then I had to force myself to leave when the time came.

The next stop was to my son’s house. I ended up running later there because of rush hour traffic in Raleigh. That was not fun. My daughter was “Dj’ing” and we spent a great deal of time talking. Still traffic made me have to concentrate more on the actual driving.

The rental was really good on gas. So I really only had to fill up three times the whole trip. The gas prices are so much better in North Carolina, and in Virginia as well. Here in West Virginia, gas prices are around two eighty. I think that the highest price I paid was $2.55.

I got to finally meet with my beautiful grandson. He is such a active and happy little man. My son and his family welcomed us with dinner. Both my bestie and my son’s mother-in-law spoiled my daughter, making her feel so special.

We stayed with my son and his family for about three hours. His house is around three hours to the motel… We pulled up to the motel around two thirty in the morning. Check out was eleven, and we couldn’t afford to miss it. So I did a shower, as I felt so gross, and crashed.

The original plan had me staying at the motel three days. The car had to be back by Thursday noon. So I had to be home Wednesday night sometime.

I got to visit my dad, and my childhood babysitter. I enjoyed myself. The downside is that I spent the majority of this week driving, or peopling. I am exhausted. I have poetry challenges to still catch up on. I have done no writing this week really. Nor really any art. Next week I will be posting again on schedule. Monday poetry, Tuesday Tunes, Wordless Wednesday, Thursday Tea Party, and Friday writing. Thank you for being patient with me.

Time flies

Tuesday I did a “date” with my teenage daughter. This is time for her and I where she is the absolute center of my attention. Don’t get me wrong… She always has my attention. However, as mom, there is a million things that have my attention. Our dates are where dad, house, writing, and other assorted hats that I wear are thrown in the closet for the time we are together. This time we watched some television (her choice of shows) and made bath bombs.

Bath bombs are apparently more her craft than mine. She was brilliant with the crafting. Hers stayed together better, and generally were neater.

Making bath bombs were easy and fun. The recipe we used was:

1 cup baking soda

1/2 cup Epsom salts

1/2 cup citric acid

1/2 cup corn starch

1 tbsp water

1 tbsp mineral oil

1 tsp essential oil

4-6 drops food color

She made some neat variation in the color of the bombs. I only had picked up a very basic mold set as I was unsure whether or not we would enjoy it or not. She wants to continue with crafting them, so I have been eyeballing some other equipment on Amazon.

Y’all would not believe the mess this made. My dining room is covered in a layer of dust.

Black food coloring comes out a dark green.

You really have to put some pressure on the mold to get the bombs to hold together. There is a definite need for patience with this.

I was responsible for the “half ” bombs. One I made split after being set to the side to dry. The bombs need to sit for 48 hours to dry.

Mistakes were made. But isn’t that part of the fun?

The drying rack at the end of the making. All in all the bath bombs were not incredibly expensive to make. Walmart carries many of the supplies cheaply. It was a fun adventure with my girl.

Thursday thud.

I have nothing to offer you today or tomorrow. I am sorry. This week has wiped me out. I have been under the weather for nearly two weeks. Nothing serious… Just generally sick. Then Monday Joe had to get an scope from both sides to see what is going on with his health. My angel has a weird mass in the bone of her left jaw and she was sick last week with the stomach bug that I have been dealing with. She had surgery yesterday to biopsy that mass. All told I am wiped. Add in my grandson being sick and me unable to go see him… And this writer has no words. So please forgive me. Blog will be back Monday, I have another poet spotlight planned.