Tuesday Tunes

Au/Ra – Ghost

Lyrics –
[Intro]
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost)
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost)

[Verse 1]
Today I’m kinda feelin’ like a ghost
Call my friends but ain’t nobody home
Tell myself I’m fine but I don’t really know
I’m just scared that I’ll end up, I’ll end up, I’ll end up alone
I never let it show
But I feel like a missed call on a phone
Tryna live my life, pay-as-you-go
But I’m so scared that I’ll end up, I’ll end up, I’ll end up alone

[Chorus]
You know I’m like a ghost, sometimes I have to fade
And it haunts me that I have to be this way
You say it’s gone cold, I say I’ll do better
But I always seem to disappear again
You know I’m like a ghost, I see it in your face
And it haunts me that I have to be this way
You say it’s gone cold, I say I’ll do better
But I always seem to disappear again
You know I’m like a ghost

[Verse 2]
You know I never meant to cut you off
Got phantom feelings I can never solve
Stranger things to worry ’bout, I know
But I’m so scared that I’ll end up, I’ll end up, I’ll end up alone

[Pre-Chorus]
Can’t see myself in the mirror
Does that mean I’m not really here?
I’m losin’ touch with everything I know
And I’m so scared that I’ll end up, I’ll end up, I’ll end up alone

[Chorus]
You know I’m like a ghost, sometimes I have to fade
And it haunts me that I have to be this way
You say it’s gone cold, I say I’ll do better
But I always seem to disappear again
You know I’m like a ghost, I see it in your face
And it haunts me that I have to be this way
You say it’s gone cold, I say I’ll do better
But I always seem to disappear again
You know I’m like a ghost

[Bridge]
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost)
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost)
You know I’m like a ghost
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost)
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost, you know I’m like a ghost)
Ooh, I’ll be okay, I’ll be alright, I know
Ooh, I’ll be okay, I’m just scared that I’ll end up alone
(Ooh, ooh)

[Chorus]
You know I’m like a ghost, I see it in your face
And it haunts me that I have to be this way
You say it’s gone cold, I say I’ll do better
But I always seem to disappear again
You know I’m like a ghost



My 2 cents –
During this time of year,  something happens. For so many of us the holidays are a struggle. We end up feeling isolated. I know that not everyone who reads this is in winter right now,  but it is still valid even during the other seasons. If you feel unseen or isolated… Reach out. There is always someone who will listen.


There is no shame in needing help. You are not a ghost… Even if you feel like one.

Monday mehs

So I normally post poetry on Monday… But I am exhausted. I will explain why in a truth is stranger than fiction type way. Last week was just all around awful. I am an introvert to my core. Well my boyfriend has decided to expand my daughter’s bedroom as her Christmas gift. Now that wall he wants to remove is the original outside wall of the house. The porch has since been made into another room. So that wall is load bearing. So he had two separate contractors come in to do an estimate. The first ones gave all three of us the willies. He didn’t seem to know what to do with the wall… The second one was so much better.

Most of the rest of the week was sick and pain. Nothing terribly unusual, just all together adding to the ick factor of the week… And then Friday hit.

My front door was broken for a while. We had it fixed, but we are not used to the door being right. So we use the deadbolt mostly. The bottom lock is only used when someone is home. I honestly thought that there was only one key… Well the boyfriend was half dead with exhaustion. We were taking him to work so I could use his vehicle to do shopping in the morning. He works midnight to 9. My blazer has 2 flat tires, one has a nail. So I think that he locked the bottom lock on habit. My daughter, being last out, locked the deadbolt. Well we get back to find that both locks are engaged. We checked to see if there was any other way in. I called a friend who is a local locksmith… All to no avail. Then…I get the bright idea to check the keys on my chain that I was not sure of. Yeah I had a key to the door… So that was a high stress that had my daughter and I standing in 35°F weather for about 10 minutes when we did not have to.

So I have been moving stuff to allow for the expansion, and dealing with the stress. And the result is I am so exhausted that I can’t think straight, much less create. I should be back on track with my posts tomorrow. Thank you for understanding.

A Mad Poet’s Thoughts On Life

There are three things which dictate the way we live: the society we’re born into, the experiences which impact us, and the reality which we choose to believe in.

None of us can help the first two. No one gets to decide the time, place, or family they’re born into and, while we may have some control over our experiences in general, the things which impact us the most are usually out of our control.

It’s “thing” number three on the list which us mad people are experts at: reality. Or, rather one’s choice of reality.

Oh, you think reality is a fixed thing, do you? It’s solid, reliable, steadfast, and true? Well, my dear reader, allow a mad mind to enlighten you with one simple question….

Can you describe the color blue?

“Of course I can, you mad writer! Blue is…well…it’s blue- The color of the sky, of the ocean, of…those raspberry-flavored ice-pops from my childhood!”

Okay, now go and ask someone who grew up in Alaska or India or Japan, for that matter. Is their version of blue the same as yours? No. It isn’t. Better yet, ask a widower whose wife’s favorite color was blue to describe it. Then, ask a woman who’s color blind. Ask yourself the meaning on a sunny day and one on a day full of storms and sorrow.

Reality is fluid, flexible and the reason for this is because it changes based on our perception of the moment at hand. Want to know the secret to a mad life full of adventures? It’s quite simple:

Choose The Reality You Want To Live

Mad people get it because we already don’t like to be held down by something as paltry as reality. We understand from quite a young age that reality is meant to be questioned, to be rebelled against, to be contorted to our own quirky wills.

How do we do this? By choosing what we want to be true and then making it so:

  • The world isn’t crashing down around me; it’s just raining opportunities.
  • It’s not a failure; it’s just a fantastic way to learn.
  • Thank God I was wrong! Being right all the time is boring.
  • It’s okay if he/she doesn’t like me. I don’t need anyone’s approval to be awesome.
  • I’m not broke; I just spent too much on being responsible.
  • I’m not lost; I’m just on an adventure.
  • This job isn’t boring; it’s just making it easier to have fun when I’m off.
  • Maybe it isn’t loneliness. Maybe it’s boot camp for self-love.
  • It’s not daydreaming. It’s idea cultivation.
  • Life truly is an adventure.

“You can’t help that. We’re all mad here.”

-Cheshire Cat

Do you have any mad sayings that help you choose your reality? Share them with us!

Monday musings

I know that I usually post poetry on Monday, but the last week has been a rough one for me and creating. Between a death in the family, that hit rather hard, and general aches and pains… This week has been a lot of “couch time”…basically me and my television have seen more of each other than I ever do.

There is always a little slow down after I publish a new volume. When I wonder if I am foolish and vain for publishing. When I acknowledge that I don’t do well with pushing the books that I already have out. When I wonder who I would be if I didn’t write. When the idea scares me, so I try to force it… And end up scraping a few really bad foced starts. This is the first month after I publish a new volume.

Then, I start actually calming down… Realize that I don’t have to sell it. I have written it. I have put it out into the world so that it can be seen. I have done my part. It is my job to write, not to force anyone to read it. Those who are meant to be be my readers will find it, as long as I keep sharing. Which I have been doing a bit more of. I have been putting my poetry on graphics and putting more on my blog, and Instagram. I have a public album on Facebook and a board on Pinterest. In the meantime what that time of panic and reflection often means is that I have nothing worth sharing today, except for the view of my weirdo neurotic mind. Some like that view though, so I decided to share.

Tuesday Tunes

Unlike Pluto – Villain in my own Story

Lyrics –

I was the one who wanted nothing
I was the one who lived in pain
I was the one who strived for nothing
I was the one who stood in rain
I feel like I’m no good I should run away
I feel like failure’s one step ahead of me
Fuck all the people with the Bentley’s with their nice lives
Fuck all the people in the mansions with their bright skies
Fuck all the people sitting pretty with their sane minds
Fuck, think I’m becoming the villain of my story
I am the one that’s holding grudges
I am the one that lives in pain
I am the one who’s out of touch and
I am the one inflicting pain
I feel like I’m no good I should run away
I feel like failure’s one step ahead of me
Fuck all the people with the Bentley’s with their nice lives
Fuck all the people in the mansions with their bright skies
Fuck all the people sitting pretty with their sane minds
Fuck, think I’m becoming the villain of my story
And I’ve been the bad guy for so long, I’m growing tired
Is it too damn late to twist the plot to turn it round

My two cents –

I have been doing a lot of thinking about perspective lately. Especially since writing my memoir. We are all the villain in someone else’s story. When we become the villain in our own story is when we start to change. I know that my story as seen by others was different than it was for me. I can’t speak from their point of view. I can only speak my truth. So, when I tell my story… It will always be shaded by my perception. How it affected me. How it changed me. I try to look at others perspective, but it is not easy with some situations.

Inspiration without a home is a memoir. My story. It is not completely linear… Nor should it be. There is stories about abuse, about rape. There is a life in those pages. Not a good life, but one lived. That life created the woman I am today. And I am at least remotely sure that I was the villain of some of the story as told by others.

Quicksilver poetry

©2019 Patricia Harris

Sleep elu,

Sitting in my bed

Still shaken from

The monsters that live

Inside my head.

Revisiting memories

Is far away from

The way that I need

To help me sleep.

Shaky in the dark,

I dare not turn on

The bright overhead light.

For though the fear

Blankets my skin,

I do not want

To awaken the ones

Who are still sleeping.

Tuesday tunes

So usually I choose one song. Which really works… But today I want something slightly different. Today I want to do a small group of songs. A playlist if you will. I am pansexual, and I have had relationships with both male and female. I don’t plan on putting the details up, and I don’t want to put the lyrics up for these. My opinion is going to be on the topic more than individual songs. The songs were chosen for this playlist purposely.

Too many of the so called lesbian love songs don’t sit right with me. To me a true love song should be good whether it is for a female or a male. These definitely have a female target, but it would work for either gender. Many, if sung by a different singer, would be made hetro.

I love that idea. The songs excite the heart in me. The poet who loves to see love in all of its facets. See lyrics are not gendered. The singer, the tempo it is sung at, these all what affects our, as listeners, perception of it. That is why some covers come across better to an individual ear than the original.

Everyone I have ever had in my life has a song that reminds me of them. Some songs I only listen to if I need to pull them from the mind, for good or ill. The first song on this list belongs to someone I once loved dearly. She hurt me because she was raw from another hurting her. Still I love her and I miss her, even if it hurt me to have her near. I will never wish her ill. It is the only song that is that meaningful for me.

I am just going to share the playlist from YouTube. If you can think of any that I missed… Let me know.