Thursday, A Case of the Blahs

I am a creative person… First and foremost. It is just a truth about me. And I usually have some idea of what to create… But every now and then I get the blahs. When I don’t want to do anything. I just can’t think of anything I want to make/write. Sure, I can do prompts… And I often do to break the blahs. But sometimes I just like letting the mood work itself out.

That means that I don’t have an update for a tea party. As I have been lacking in forward momentum for a couple of weeks now. It will pass. But until it does… I am just not feeling it.

Tuesday Tunes

A day for me to discuss music

Miley Cyrus: The Climb

Lyrics – I can almost see it
That dream I’m dreaming but
There’s a voice inside my head saying
You’ll never reach it,
Every step I’m taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high
There’s always gonna be another mountain
I’m always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose
Ain’t about how fast I get there
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb
The struggles I’m facing
The chances I’m taking
Sometimes might knock me down but
No I’m not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I’m going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I
I gotta be strong
Just keep pushing on, ’cause
There’s always gonna be another mountain
I’m always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose
Ain’t about how fast I get there
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb (yeah)
There’s always gonna be another mountain
I’m always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes you gonna have to lose
Ain’t about how fast I get there
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb (yeah yeah ea ea)
Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It’s all about
It’s all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith
Whoa oh oh

My 2 cents…

The world is hurting… And the majority of us are caught up in the back and forth, and finding it to be too much. I stepped away from Facebook yesterday… Because I found that I was crying everytime I opened it up. I have been torn between wanting knowledge of current events/ family and the need to be sane (or as close as I get). I am going to choose my own sanity here. But with any mountain blocking my path… I will rest but I will not give up. I can’t be there to join the fight. But I will say that Black Lives Matter. I will say that the cop deserves a murder charge. And that my heart hurts for the fact that either of those statements are not immediately apparent.

Tuesday Tunes

Bebe Rexha – I’m a Mess

Lyrics –

Everything’s been so messed up here lately
Pretty sure he don’t wanna be my baby
Oh, he don’t love me, he don’t love me
He don’t love me, he don’t love me
But that’s okay
‘Cause I love me, yeah, I love me
Yeah, I love me
Yeah, I love myself anyway
Hey Everything’s gonna be alright
Everything’s gonna be okay
It’s gonna be a good, good, life
That’s what my therapist say
Everything’s gonna be alright
Everything’s gonna be just fine
It’s gonna be a good, good life I’m a mess, I’m a loser
I’m a hater, I’m a user
I’m a mess for your love, it ain’t new
I’m obsessed, I’m embarrassed
I don’t trust no one around us
I’m a mess for your love, it ain’t new Nobody shows up unless I’m paying
Have a drink on me cheers to the failing
Oh, he don’t love me, he don’t love me
He don’t love me, he don’t love me
But that’s okay
‘Cause I love me, yeah, I love me
Yeah, I love me
Yeah, I love myself anyway
Hey Everything’s gonna be alright
Everything’s gonna be okay
It’s gonna be a good, good life
That’s what my therapist say
Everything’s gonna be alright
Everything’s gonna be just fine
It’s gonna be a good, good life I’m a mess, I’m a loser
I’m a hater, I’m a user
I’m a mess for your love, it ain’t new
I’m obsessed, I’m embarrassed
I don’t trust no one around us
I’m a mess for your love, it ain’t new Everything’s gonna be alright, alright
Everything’s gonna be just fine, just fine
It’s gonna be a good, good life I’m a mess, I’m a loser
I’m a hater, I’m a user
I’m a mess for your love, it ain’t new
I’m obsessed, I’m embarrassed
I don’t trust no one around us
I’m a mess for your love, it ain’t new

My 2 cents – I feel like this song is so relatable. everyone feels like a mess on occasion. Some of us feel like more mess than right. So if today you are a mess…just turn the music up and let Bebe Sing your feelings for you.

Tuesday Tunes

Rihanna – Stay

Lyrics – All along it was a fever
A cold sweat hot-headed believer
I threw my hands in the air, said, “Show me something”
He said, “If you dare, come a little closer”
Round and around and around and around we go
Oh now, tell me now, tell me now, tell me now you know
Not really sure how to feel about it
Something in the way you move
Makes me feel like I can’t live without you
It takes me all the way
I want you to stay
It’s not much of a life you’re living
It’s not just something you take it’s given
Round and around and around and around we go
Oh now, tell me now, tell me now, tell me now you know
Not really sure how to feel about it
Something in the way you move
Makes me feel like I can’t live without you
It takes me all the way
I want you to stay
Ooh, ooh, ooh, the reason I hold on
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ’cause I need this hole gone
Well, funny you’re the broken one
But I’m the only one who needed saving
‘Cause when you never see the light
It’s hard to know which one of us is caving
Not really sure how to feel about it
Something in the way you move
Makes me feel like I can’t live without you
It takes me all the way
I want you to stay, stay
I want you to stay, hooh

My 2 cents – this song speaks of longing for company, of loneliness. Right now I feel like this is a relevant and relatable feeling. It is a scary time for all of us, globally. Pandemic and isolation…it’s just a level of panic and uncertainty that has a lot of us disabled.

Please, even if you are having issues, try to stay in until this is under control. Isolation is the world’s best shot right now. Stay home and stay safe.

Seasonal crud

This week, and the Last two days of last week, may be a little bit of nothing posted. I have the allergies that always hit me at the end of March. My head is so full of cotton and crud that I can’t think. I even begged off of my post for Coffee house writers. So next week when it should be posted It will not be going up. I will be back to writing and posting, hopefully by the end of the week. Until then I thank you for your patience.

Also a bonus to make up for it… April will be extra posts for National Poetry Month.

Tuesday Tunes

Kenny Rogers – Buy Me A Rose

Lyrics – “Buy Me A Rose”

He works hard to give her all he thinks she wants
A three car garage, her own credit cards
He pulls in late to wake her up with a kiss good night
If he could only read her mind, she’d say:

Buy me a rose, call me from work
Open a door for me, what would it hurt
Show me you love me by the look in your eyes
These are the little things I need the most in my life

Now the days have grown to years of feeling all alone
And she can’t help but wonder what she’s doing wrong
Cause lately she’d try anything to turn his head
Would it make a difference if she said:

Buy me a rose, call me from work
Open a door for me, what would it hurt
Show me you love me by the look in your eyes
These are the little things I need the most in my life

And the more that he lives the less that he tries
To show her the love that he holds inside
And the more that she gives the more that he sees
This is a story of you and me

So I bought you a rose on the way home from work
To open the door to a heart that I hurt
And I hope you notice this look in my eyes
Cause I’m gonna make things right
For the rest of your life
I’m gonna hold you tonight
Do all those little things
For the rest of your life.

My 2 cents – The death of Kenny Rogers has hit me hard. Music when I was a child was not as much of a variety. Daddy enjoyed rock(like the Stray Cats and such) but Mama was more stubborn when it came to music. When she was around… It was only country music. I see music as another expression of art. I always have. So I have been more attracted to the way the song made me feel than the genre that the song is in.

Kenny Rogers songs always made me feel. Even more so as I aged… Because I gained wisdom.

In many ways, this has always been my favorite of his songs. Followed closely by Coward of the county. I came from a broken home. My parents loved each other once. In the way you love the image of someone. Both were not seeing the other. And neither were willing to fight for the other. They were children having children and it really wasn’t long before they drove each other away.

I’m not telling you that to condemn them or upset you. I’m telling you that because it is truth and it goes along with the chosen song. Romance is not what the books say… There is no immediate knowing how to make it work. I have been with the same guy for 24 years come May. Some days I am the asshole. Some days he is. We hurt each other. We heal each other. We communicate. We are still together, not because of what we can get each other, but because we are willing to do the effort. I am a firm believer in the idea that romance is based upon the effort you put into it.

So, with this I say goodbye to Kenny. Hopefully his memory will always comfort a word brighter for having known him. And may the game of the afterlife come up nothing but Aces for him.

Migraine and stress fairies

*Found on Google with Pinterest listed as source*

I want to apologize. I don’t feel like I have to, that is another reason why I am grateful. I was supposed to post a blog tour post for a friend yesterday, which I will post shortly. I was supposed to do a Thursday post… And I just could not. I have been fighting a stress migraine since Tuesday.

My life is a routine, built on Chaos. Still I don’t handle change well. The pandemic has stores and offices closing. I homeschool, so I was already a homebody… But when I go to the store and can’t even find a loaf of bread… And then I am forced to explain to my teenage girl that the pandemic is not likely to kill her. Especially if we are careful with hygiene. Still, she is asthmatic. And she keeps hearing about asthmatic people being in higher danger.

Add all of this to normal anxiety and stress… Insomnia is back. Insomnia brings the migraines. It is not a sane time for anyone… So I have been dealing with it. Isn’t that what you are supposed to do?

Today is the start of Ostara. The beginning of spring. That also means the start of allergy time. It is a busy time for me. Usually we are able to clean up the yard (because somehow we end up doing the reconstruction inside during the winter and the trash builds up in the yard). We normally do the preparing for the garden. The plan for what canning we want to do during the summer.

This year not as much of this. We will be doing clean up. County clean up is free. It allows us to dispose of the trash. But I am not sure that we have the energy for a garden this year. I think that the canning is going to be something more like chili and the like. Maybe we will can some homemade baked beans. I don’t know.

I would have posted regardless of the migraines… I often do… However it was severe enough for the phone to be more than I could tolerate. I have a variation in my light sensitivity. This last one I was hiding in a dark room under a blanket and it was still too damn bright. Eyes closed and there was still too much light.

This is a rough time for everyone. So much unsurity, insecurity in economics. This year has been a lot of fear of what the future holds. Definitely not alone here. So I know how much y’all understand. I appreciate you.

So I guess that this post, other than an explanation for yesterday is a basic I am here and I see you kind of thing. If you need someone to talk to… Reach out to me… I want to hear you.

Tuesday Tunes

Lyrics I’m not a perfect person
There’s many things I wish I didn’t do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know I’ve found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you I’m sorry that I hurt you
It’s something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That’s why I need you to hear I’ve found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you I’m not a perfect person
I never…

My 2 cents So I end up associating people with songs…used to be only lovers, until this song. There was a young man …I truly thought of him as a little brother. He was about the same age as my little brother. I met him because he hung out with Joe’s kid brother. He was dating a friend of mine when this song came out. I have always had a huge music collection…multiple cd’s /cassettes back before mp3’s were a thing…and now gigabytes of mp3’s. I love music variety. However back then…I had never listened to the same song on repeat…I just had so many that I could put it on Auto Dj and not hear the same song twice in a day…even in a week if I am honest. Well Jeremy…The little brother like fellow…He would get on my computer and blast this song on repeat…we must have heard it a thousand times if we heard it once.

I am sharing this for a reason…he died, very young. He was 28. I find I am missing him lately often. He was all about his games, and we have all (my gaming group) been missing his enthusiasm. So Duesy…You are the reason I can’t hear this song with out cryin.

Whelp… It’s Wednesday

I was going to do a wordless Wednesday… Then my art app crashed taking the picture with it. I don’t have a web discovery/ webcomic post written because I was not expecting to do it this week… And I am flabbergasted.

So, I ask you… What does Wednesday mean for you? Do you have a routine? Is it just marking the middle of the work week? Also, what do you do when things go sideways?