Tuesday Tunes

Au/Ra – Ghost

Lyrics –
[Intro]
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost)
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost)

[Verse 1]
Today I’m kinda feelin’ like a ghost
Call my friends but ain’t nobody home
Tell myself I’m fine but I don’t really know
I’m just scared that I’ll end up, I’ll end up, I’ll end up alone
I never let it show
But I feel like a missed call on a phone
Tryna live my life, pay-as-you-go
But I’m so scared that I’ll end up, I’ll end up, I’ll end up alone

[Chorus]
You know I’m like a ghost, sometimes I have to fade
And it haunts me that I have to be this way
You say it’s gone cold, I say I’ll do better
But I always seem to disappear again
You know I’m like a ghost, I see it in your face
And it haunts me that I have to be this way
You say it’s gone cold, I say I’ll do better
But I always seem to disappear again
You know I’m like a ghost

[Verse 2]
You know I never meant to cut you off
Got phantom feelings I can never solve
Stranger things to worry ’bout, I know
But I’m so scared that I’ll end up, I’ll end up, I’ll end up alone

[Pre-Chorus]
Can’t see myself in the mirror
Does that mean I’m not really here?
I’m losin’ touch with everything I know
And I’m so scared that I’ll end up, I’ll end up, I’ll end up alone

[Chorus]
You know I’m like a ghost, sometimes I have to fade
And it haunts me that I have to be this way
You say it’s gone cold, I say I’ll do better
But I always seem to disappear again
You know I’m like a ghost, I see it in your face
And it haunts me that I have to be this way
You say it’s gone cold, I say I’ll do better
But I always seem to disappear again
You know I’m like a ghost

[Bridge]
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost)
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost)
You know I’m like a ghost
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost)
(Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost, you know I’m like a ghost)
Ooh, I’ll be okay, I’ll be alright, I know
Ooh, I’ll be okay, I’m just scared that I’ll end up alone
(Ooh, ooh)

[Chorus]
You know I’m like a ghost, I see it in your face
And it haunts me that I have to be this way
You say it’s gone cold, I say I’ll do better
But I always seem to disappear again
You know I’m like a ghost



My 2 cents –
During this time of year,  something happens. For so many of us the holidays are a struggle. We end up feeling isolated. I know that not everyone who reads this is in winter right now,  but it is still valid even during the other seasons. If you feel unseen or isolated… Reach out. There is always someone who will listen.


There is no shame in needing help. You are not a ghost… Even if you feel like one.

A Mad Poet’s Thoughts On Life

There are three things which dictate the way we live: the society we’re born into, the experiences which impact us, and the reality which we choose to believe in.

None of us can help the first two. No one gets to decide the time, place, or family they’re born into and, while we may have some control over our experiences in general, the things which impact us the most are usually out of our control.

It’s “thing” number three on the list which us mad people are experts at: reality. Or, rather one’s choice of reality.

Oh, you think reality is a fixed thing, do you? It’s solid, reliable, steadfast, and true? Well, my dear reader, allow a mad mind to enlighten you with one simple question….

Can you describe the color blue?

“Of course I can, you mad writer! Blue is…well…it’s blue- The color of the sky, of the ocean, of…those raspberry-flavored ice-pops from my childhood!”

Okay, now go and ask someone who grew up in Alaska or India or Japan, for that matter. Is their version of blue the same as yours? No. It isn’t. Better yet, ask a widower whose wife’s favorite color was blue to describe it. Then, ask a woman who’s color blind. Ask yourself the meaning on a sunny day and one on a day full of storms and sorrow.

Reality is fluid, flexible and the reason for this is because it changes based on our perception of the moment at hand. Want to know the secret to a mad life full of adventures? It’s quite simple:

Choose The Reality You Want To Live

Mad people get it because we already don’t like to be held down by something as paltry as reality. We understand from quite a young age that reality is meant to be questioned, to be rebelled against, to be contorted to our own quirky wills.

How do we do this? By choosing what we want to be true and then making it so:

  • The world isn’t crashing down around me; it’s just raining opportunities.
  • It’s not a failure; it’s just a fantastic way to learn.
  • Thank God I was wrong! Being right all the time is boring.
  • It’s okay if he/she doesn’t like me. I don’t need anyone’s approval to be awesome.
  • I’m not broke; I just spent too much on being responsible.
  • I’m not lost; I’m just on an adventure.
  • This job isn’t boring; it’s just making it easier to have fun when I’m off.
  • Maybe it isn’t loneliness. Maybe it’s boot camp for self-love.
  • It’s not daydreaming. It’s idea cultivation.
  • Life truly is an adventure.

“You can’t help that. We’re all mad here.”

-Cheshire Cat

Do you have any mad sayings that help you choose your reality? Share them with us!

Monday musings

I know that I usually post poetry on Monday, but the last week has been a rough one for me and creating. Between a death in the family, that hit rather hard, and general aches and pains… This week has been a lot of “couch time”…basically me and my television have seen more of each other than I ever do.

There is always a little slow down after I publish a new volume. When I wonder if I am foolish and vain for publishing. When I acknowledge that I don’t do well with pushing the books that I already have out. When I wonder who I would be if I didn’t write. When the idea scares me, so I try to force it… And end up scraping a few really bad foced starts. This is the first month after I publish a new volume.

Then, I start actually calming down… Realize that I don’t have to sell it. I have written it. I have put it out into the world so that it can be seen. I have done my part. It is my job to write, not to force anyone to read it. Those who are meant to be be my readers will find it, as long as I keep sharing. Which I have been doing a bit more of. I have been putting my poetry on graphics and putting more on my blog, and Instagram. I have a public album on Facebook and a board on Pinterest. In the meantime what that time of panic and reflection often means is that I have nothing worth sharing today, except for the view of my weirdo neurotic mind. Some like that view though, so I decided to share.

Tuesday Tunes

Unlike Pluto – Villain in my own Story

Lyrics –

I was the one who wanted nothing
I was the one who lived in pain
I was the one who strived for nothing
I was the one who stood in rain
I feel like I’m no good I should run away
I feel like failure’s one step ahead of me
Fuck all the people with the Bentley’s with their nice lives
Fuck all the people in the mansions with their bright skies
Fuck all the people sitting pretty with their sane minds
Fuck, think I’m becoming the villain of my story
I am the one that’s holding grudges
I am the one that lives in pain
I am the one who’s out of touch and
I am the one inflicting pain
I feel like I’m no good I should run away
I feel like failure’s one step ahead of me
Fuck all the people with the Bentley’s with their nice lives
Fuck all the people in the mansions with their bright skies
Fuck all the people sitting pretty with their sane minds
Fuck, think I’m becoming the villain of my story
And I’ve been the bad guy for so long, I’m growing tired
Is it too damn late to twist the plot to turn it round

My two cents –

I have been doing a lot of thinking about perspective lately. Especially since writing my memoir. We are all the villain in someone else’s story. When we become the villain in our own story is when we start to change. I know that my story as seen by others was different than it was for me. I can’t speak from their point of view. I can only speak my truth. So, when I tell my story… It will always be shaded by my perception. How it affected me. How it changed me. I try to look at others perspective, but it is not easy with some situations.

Inspiration without a home is a memoir. My story. It is not completely linear… Nor should it be. There is stories about abuse, about rape. There is a life in those pages. Not a good life, but one lived. That life created the woman I am today. And I am at least remotely sure that I was the villain of some of the story as told by others.

Quicksilver poetry

©2019 Patricia Harris

Sleep elu,

Sitting in my bed

Still shaken from

The monsters that live

Inside my head.

Revisiting memories

Is far away from

The way that I need

To help me sleep.

Shaky in the dark,

I dare not turn on

The bright overhead light.

For though the fear

Blankets my skin,

I do not want

To awaken the ones

Who are still sleeping.

Tuesday Tunes

Hello my lovelies. Welcome back for another song. Tell me in the comments what you are listening to today?

Today I bring you

Aerosmith- Janie’s Got a Gun

Lyrics –

[Verse 1]
Dum, dum, dum, honey what have you done?
Dum, dum, dum it’s the sound of my gun
Dum, dum, dum, honey what have you done?
Dum, dum, dum it’s the sound

[Chorus 1]
Janie’s got a gun
Janie’s got a gun
Her whole world’s come undone
From lookin’ straight at the sun
What did her daddy do?
What did he put you through?

[Verse 2]
They said when Janie was arrested
They found him underneath a train
But man, he had it comin’
Now that Janie’s got a gun
She ain’t never gonna be the same

[Chorus 2]
Janie’s got a gun
Janie’s got a gun
Her dog day’s just begun
Now everybody is on the run
Tell me now it’s untrue
What did her daddy do?
He jacked a little bitty baby
The man has got to be insane
They say the spell that he was under the lightning and
The thunder knew that someone had to stop the rain

[Chorus 3]
Run away, run away from the pain yeah, yeah yeah
Run away run away from the pain yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Run away, run away, run, run away

[Chorus 2]
Janie’s got a gun
Janie’s got a gun
Her dog day’s just begun
Now everybody is on the run

[Verse 2]
What did her daddy do?
It’s Janie’s last I.O.U
She had to take him down easy and put a bullet in his brain
She said cause nobody believes me. The man was such a sleeze
He ain’t never gonna be the same

[Chorus 3]
Run away, run away from the pain yeah, yeah
Yeah yeah yeah
Run away run away from the pain yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Run away, run away, run, run away

[Guitar Solo]

[Chorus 2]
Janie’s got a gun
Janie’s got a gun
Janie’s got a gun
Now everybody is on the run

[Outro]
Janie’s got a gun
Her dog day’s just begun
Now everybody is on the run (Honey honey, what’s the problem?)
Because Janie’s got a gun (Tell me it ain’t right)
Janie’s got a gun (Was it Daddy’s cradle robbing that)
Her dog day’s just begun (Made you scream at night?)
Now everybody is on the run
Janie’s got a gun

My two cents :

This song brought me comfort as a teen. I am an abuse survivor… And I was not believed. So I was a very angry teenager. I really think that most teens are angry. The injustice of being too young to do adult things and too old to be a kid. But I was fighting battles that I had no idea of how to deal with. This song spoke about vengeance against abuse. It spoke to the angry in me. I still love the song for that reason. It speaks to the part of me that has never seen justice. I have a lovely playlist that I may share… There is a lot of songs that talk about abuse… A lot more than most people realize exist.

Random thoughts of poetry.

Now I normally don’t do this. I don’t explain my poetry, or my art, because I think that most people see what they want to in anything creative. I feel like explanation ruins a piece. To be honest this post is not entirely an explanation… But rather an aside. I have been thinking a lot lately about accountability. About guilt and mistakes. About what I am responsible for in my life and what regrets I should have and what it all means.

I have thought about the regrets that others have expressed towards me. I find that I have very few actual regrets. Each of my choices I made with all of the knowledge that I had at the time. I have revisited some of them later… And hindsight makes regret easy… If you let it.

The problem comes in when you allow regret to consume your conscience. We are as a society, cold. We have lost the conscience. We have lost the knowledge of good and evil, or the will to care. When prison actually looks better than trying to make your way in this miserable world…lives of others no longer matter. That is not a mental illness thing… It is a wake up call.

We have a society where you can work 60+ hours a week and still not be able to afford to pay rent. We live in a society where there is often no way of breaking even, much less getting ahead. Where hate and violence is broadcast nightly on the news. So I have to wonder how we as a society can fix this? How can we take responsibility for the problem and fix it?