Now I normally don’t do this. I don’t explain my poetry, or my art, because I think that most people see what they want to in anything creative. I feel like explanation ruins a piece. To be honest this post is not entirely an explanation… But rather an aside. I have been thinking a lot lately about accountability. About guilt and mistakes. About what I am responsible for in my life and what regrets I should have and what it all means.
I have thought about the regrets that others have expressed towards me. I find that I have very few actual regrets. Each of my choices I made with all of the knowledge that I had at the time. I have revisited some of them later… And hindsight makes regret easy… If you let it.
The problem comes in when you allow regret to consume your conscience. We are as a society, cold. We have lost the conscience. We have lost the knowledge of good and evil, or the will to care. When prison actually looks better than trying to make your way in this miserable world…lives of others no longer matter. That is not a mental illness thing… It is a wake up call.
We have a society where you can work 60+ hours a week and still not be able to afford to pay rent. We live in a society where there is often no way of breaking even, much less getting ahead. Where hate and violence is broadcast nightly on the news. So I have to wonder how we as a society can fix this? How can we take responsibility for the problem and fix it?
Technology is a major part of life in today’s world. In writing, and sometimes arting, I often use my phone or a computer. However, I also craft. I make jewelry, with a rare other craft. There are multiple technology options for crafting. Some that do not interest me. What do I even need a cricut machine for anyway?
That being said… There are technology that I have been wanting. Things that I think will open up new design options. Things that will be fun to play with. Technology doesn’t scare me. The only reason why I don’t have more than I do is the cost.
Now, that is not a whine, nor am I begging. Just stating truth. My priorities have always been raising my family over the desire to explore technology.
However, my boyfriend is going to get me a neat little bit of tech that is supposed to be fun to use. Comgrow Creality Ender 3 Pro 3D Printer with Upgrade Cmagnet Build Surface Plate and UL Certified Power Supply 8.6″ x 8.6″ x 9.8″
So in prep I have been researching everything that I can find on it. I can’t wait until I get it.
What bit of tech are you wanting? And why?
Creative. I have my tools that I can work with. With words, technology, paint, Resin, beads, and wire I create. Well a few other things, but those are my main mediums. It came to mind because there are some other mediums I would love to try.
I shared a post that I saw on Facebook asking people to describe me in one word. I was not surprised that creative came up. Not even surprised that it was first. Then I was browsing what I call craft porn on YouTube. I like the videos of people making stuff. I usually go for stuff that with the right tools I could make… Then there is the glassblowing vids. They are addictive… Not because I think I can do it…. But because they are so freaking talented in a media I don’t ever see myself trying.
So it appears that I have limits to my creativity. I still want to explore clay, even to the point of a pottery wheel. I want to play with polymer Clay. And perler beads. Maybe some needle felting (though I have my doubts that I will enjoy it). Wood and metal working… So much of the ones I want to try require tools, or the medium itself is expensive.
I think that creating for the sake of creating is never a bad thing. So what medium do you use?
I am trying to do more art and more writing. It is not an inexpensive thing. However thanks to Patreon even a dollar a month helps to get the supplies I need to keep doing creative endeavors.
Interested in helping me to art? Www.patreon.com/pattimouse
All of my patrons are appreciated.
So I am a strong online presence, so very few social media outlets that I do not have some useage of. It makes sense for me to set up a patreon to see if I can use my art to support myself.
You want to see stuff no one else does? Want to support my art, my poetry and my dreams? Come be my Patreon!
So thanks to a really screwed up business and their practices… It is unlikely that I will be getting my glasses this year. I went in march to get a eye exam to Charleston vision source. Now I highly recommend avoiding them. In good faith I gave them my insurance information, believing that they would tell me if it was something that they did not take or if it was something that would be a problem. So I had my eye exam done. Then, while I was hurting from the eye dilation, they tell me that I owe $240 …and that my insurance is out of network for them. So I ask about payments. Am told that they only take full amount. And I would not be allowed my prescription until I paid it. So I told them to charge my insurance company. Then I came home and called the insurance. They tell me that the office is in network. So the insurance company called the office. Told them how to charge it. Then came back and said that I needed to stop preventing the office from charging the insurance. I called the office back and reiterated that they needed to charge the insurance.
Well I waited a week. Called. Was told the insurance (medical) refused the charge. I said that they were told to charge the vision plan. Office manager said that the vision plan would not cover. So I reiterated… Charge vision plan.
Am told that they will. A month later, having heard nothing I arranged for another eye exam with a different dr. I show up to be told the eye exam had been paid. I still have not recieved the script. So I called the office. They claim that they will fax it over. We wait two hours. I call twice more. Finally I was given to the office manager. She said that they were not paid. I call insurance company. Insurance company sends proof of payment… Then office manager tells me $32 refraction fee and $12 were what I owed. I am beyond frustrated and hung up on her. So after calm down i call to get an exact owed $. And I was told $158. Locally that I have found… The cheapest eye exam is $105. My insurance will not cover another this year. So I am not getting glasses. And I have been screwed by bad business practices and a vision place who is less about visual health and more about money. I have made this post in hopes of this raising awareness in the way this place treats it’s patients. Please feel free to share. Charleston Vision source. Office of Alan Rada/ Laura Suppa. They are treating their patients poorly.
I’m sick. And when I get sick, I get maudlin. I got a notice that I was getting a deposit from Amazon for the books that I have available. It is the biggest deposit yet, a whole $2.77. That amazes me. It is a sign that people are buying the books that I have written… Mostly poetry, but I have some children’s books and a novella (as Serena).
When I told my mother that I was published her first question was if I had made any money. At the time I stumbled with my answer because I had only made thirty some cents. The fact that I had made anything was a miracle to me, but I knew that would not be what she wanted to hear.
For me, publishing is only a way of being heard. Still, making enough from my writing to buy a drink…. Well it humbles me. Would I like to be able to pay the bills through it? Well of course. I am not stupid. I just choose to be thankful for the small things. How often does changing the perspective change the way something feels?
Small miracles lift up the downtrodden. I choose to see this as a small miracle, so that I am uplifted. What perspective can you change to adjust your view?