So I got the chance to sit down and talk to Jackie Chin from Zombiepalooza. And I didn’t blow it. I was definitely nervous but I had a lot of fun! If you have not checked her out, then you really should.
Yes, I am slow sometimes in responding on Twitter or the like. Doesn’t mean that I am less likely to do so. The problem with apps like crowdfire and similar is that it takes away from the socializing. You are sending out blanket messages and showing that all of your concern is the numbers. People are not numbers…. And they never should be. You can miss some amazing interaction and the amazing ideas behind the individual by using those apps. As a writer, I love stories. Each person is made up of a unique set of stories that came from their unique life. Why would anyone deny themselves the opportunity to hear them? Of course you will find the occasional troll. But if you are willing to allow them, even trolls can teach you about people. Social media outlets are for being social…. Quit automating that.
So I decided that I needed a pen name. I am a poet and a children’s author. The last few stories I have felt inappropriate for children. So I decided that I might want a adult name for the tales that do not fit. Now being as I struggle with doing the blog at all…. I really don’t want to separate the blog for both names. I plan instead to note which of the two is the author if I speak of my writing. Thank you for understanding.I am hoping to update this blog a bit more often now as my phone has the app.
I read something last week that has been bouncing around in my head. As I was not planning to write about it, I did not save the blog link, or I would refer to it. I enjoy reading and on any given day read a dozen different blogs. Most do not stick around taking up head space. This one did. The gist of the blog was that though it had been a bad year, perhaps it was not as awful as it seemed. It spoke about how we are exposing ourselves to news in a constant barrage. The blog likened it to an assault on the senses. Now it is that idea that has been bouncing.
Is the level of available information a bad thing? As a writer I enjoy being able to research anything whenever I want. However, I have had days where opening social media was oppressive. Simply because of the horrible things man does to each other. I remember that my grandma did not watch the news and did not read the paper. She was able to be blissfully ignorant unless she chose otherwise. She was one of the most intelligent people I have ever known. Now we assault ourselves with the news and wonder why we are depressed. I can’t help but think that there must be a better way.
So….writing is at least for me the easy part. It is the part I enjoy. I have so many stories, poems and ideas floating around my head. Problem is the business aspects. Oh, editing? Yeah I can do that. I am even able to do the publishing, thanks to Amazon. I am not good at promoting what I have written.
I have been wary of submitting what I write. Part of the reason is because I am not inclined toward the rejection letters. While I know that the rejection letters are a part of writing, my poetry has always been a opening to my heart. My soul laid bare… So I was not willing to face the unending rejection. Which now seems like ego to me. My writing is good, but all writing can improve. Is having pride in one’s own words not a good thing? The other reason for my hesitant nature towards submitting is simple. I really hate the idea of someone else having the rights to my work. However I have seen some that claim rights to the work they publish. Not many, and I refuse to submit to any who do.
Well I have noticed that writer’s are often a solitary lot, I joined a few groups on social media. I was hoping to interact and gain tips on how to promote what I write. Maybe a few to make the words better. You know, be social with others who are into the same thing… And I found the darndest thing. Most of the social media groups for writers? Well it is everyone promoting their own books. No sharing, no discussion. So I have been going on, because the writing itself is really not a choice. I will be writing until I am no longer able…. Still the publishing thing… Well I do that so I can share with others a glimpse into my soul.
So I was in a bad place tonight because of yet another rejection. I posted it on social media. I really was hearing the same thing I always hear when I fail to accomplish something. My mother. So I posted for a change. I had a friend, also a writer(Kim Bailey Deal) suggest that I needed beta readers… Ok that was a new concept. She also introduced me to a group of writers who actually discuss writing. I hope that this will lead me to improving my craft, and maybe to some good new friends.
I love you. All that I have ever wanted was to feel like you were proud of me. I tried to be who you wanted. I found that didn’t work. Then I tried being myself. I found that I was happier, but you still were not proud of me. Mama I am fourty one, and I have succeeded. I am published. I am usually a happy soul. Yet when I fall, and I do occasionally fall. It is your voice in my ear, telling me you expected it all along. When I get rejected for my poetry, (as rejections are normal for the writer to recieve) that everyone else would tell me I wrote so well? I hear you telling me that you didn’t want to hear it because of how depressing it was.
Mama, I have published five volumes of poetry, three children’s books, and a novella. You know that family have hardly even acted like it mattered? I am doing what I told you I wanted to do at nine. I am a writer. So I may never be a novelist, children’s books still need written. I have never asked for much. Just a hey, that is awesome. Or even… Uh sharing it on social media that you have a daughter who is printed. So I put space between us. I admit that I was tired of feeling like you just didn’t care. I deserve to be someone who is cared about. I’m sorry that I was never the daughter you wanted, but Mama, I have always just been me.
Last night was not a good one. I doubt that I slept even a full hour. Every time I would try it would be falling into yet another nightmare. I have had them all of my life, as far back as I remember. I rarely remember them, only wake feeling afraid and small.
So I have been sleep deprived and shaky… Not a good combo. Well it has had me trying to gather all of the random thoughts swimming in my head. Quite unsuccessfully I should add. So much so that I have decided to post some here to help my mind to relax. And that it is a glimpse for you of my chaos? Bonus.
1. I miss my grandmother, well both of them. But mostly my maternal grandmother. I have been trying to learn to crochet. And she was amazing at it. She was just plain amazing, but it is the crochet that is bringing her to mind this time.
2. Samhain. Yes I am pagan. And this is a time for family.
3. I am very likely not going to end up with the death of neverland as anything but a novella. The halfway point is 5000 words. So I find myself wondering if I am trying to exceed my reach. I am a poet. I am a children’s author. I apparently can do short stories (aka novella). But can I do a novel?
3 i really am enjoying doing the art thing. If you are curious about how my art is… Myne drawings album is public on my personal Facebook (Patti Harris). Go ahead, look! I would love new input.
4. My daughter is starting to get into create music. I really want to encourage that.
5. Yule. I have a idea for a few of the people on my list. Not that my list is big. I am not able to afford much for even those.
6. Butt coasters. A friend of mine on Facebook is doing novelty crocheted coasters (www.facebook.com/nothingbuttcoasters/) and I am so tickled by the pug ones… (Thinking about them for one of my list…
7 money. Always a issue.
8. After the first of the year, do I want to do another bedtime tales?
9. Zombie castaways. Android game.. The villa (a building to make needed items in the game) if you combine love and rubber… You get bedsheets….
10. I really want a small crockpot for the truck. I wonder if I can pull it off this month.
11.whether I should do a blog post about religion. Or poets that I love and why….
12 my sister’s faeries. I feel like I should help more than I do…
So much rambling. I am heading to bed soon. I hope that I sleep better tonight.