Preparing New Year goals

I Know it seems early to consider my goals for the new year…but I am not one who does well with “new years” goals. I do have a lot of changes coming for 2018. I have been asked to assist my sister doing a new blog/newsletter that we may try to turn into magazine later. It will be posting weekly(thankfully I am not the only blogger on this so the schedule should be able to be depended on)

Spiritual Gardening with the Mindful Faeries

Life is also settling down for me some, so I am hoping to update this blog at least twice a month as well as doing that.
I am well over half done with Rust, Gore, and the Junkyard Zombie…and the poetry volume Word Petals. So there will be some book releases that can be expected from both Serena and I. Serena has a couple of stories she is working on, and a couple of stories planned. I have two children’s books in the works as well as my poetry volumes.
This time of year tends me towards self doubt and introspection, as it does many of us. So please be patient with me and I will hopefully be able to give you more to ponder in the days ahead.
In the meantime, Go check out the Spiritual Garden and be prepared for the Mindful Faeries to help your knowledge grow!

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Capability vs self worth

(Picture borrowed from Debbie Burns, head unicorn and founder of Debbieburns.me all rights to it are hers)

My writing mentor posted this picture earlier. It brings up a topic that I believe I would like to try and tackle. I have no doubt of how capable I am. I am aware of my strengths, my flaws, and the areas I need to work on. Still I have moments where I question my worth.

Now I could blame my past for that doubt. Claim that I am flawed because no one has ever seen my worth….but I really hate that. It is possible to both know your capability and to doubt your worth. I am a strong and open minded individual, still I struggle. I don’t see what others claim is talent. I see a lifetime of fighting. Of me trying to be half of what those around me said I was.

I struggle because this is the path I see. I stuggle because I refuse to quit. Perhaps the above is true, perhaps some can see the ability within and it will set them free…still not all of those who are struggling fail to see their own capability. I am a strong woman, I have a generous heart. I am creative, with a quick mind. I am a survivor who has learned to be more….still I have days when I don’t understand the love everyone around me has for the broken soul I am. Days when I am the one that sees too much of life and has no way of processing it.

This is just part of being me. Those who love me generally understand those days. They are quick to reach to help me understand why I am loved. And even then I understand my capability…even as I have no understanding of my self worth.

The growth and death of dreamsĀ 

         Dreams are what we build our lives on.  They are part of who we are,  and eventually of what we become.  Dreams that we do not work towards die off.  

         I am by nature a dreamer. I am doing what I have always wanted to do.  I am writing. Is it exactly as the girl I was at nine imagined?  No,  not really.  I am working on making it into what I need it to be. 

       Over the course of my life I have had other dreams.  I have always been a simple person. The biggest thing I have dreamed about is being stable,  having a home of my own.  Note I said home. For me there is a defined difference between house and home. House is where you live,  it is not yours but instead owned by another.  A home is somewhere that no one can make you leave.  I am nearly able to achieve that dream.  And it has been a long time coming.  I have been dreaming about my own home since I was fifteen. 

       The topic came up from a meme going around Facebook. The meme asked if I hit the lottery what is the first thing that I would buy?  Well I discussed it with Joe… And he said that the question is a wee bit unfair as it depends upon how much and when. Right now… If I hit for real money… My priorities would be different than they might be in a year. Right now… I would buy two vehicles,  pay off my home,  and effect some minor repairs. Then I would pay for the utilities for a year and stock up supplies for to help me through. Then admittedly I would stock up on craft tools.  ..šŸ’œ

If you could win the lottery,  what dreams would you fill? 

Art, Ā define itĀ 

So I am an artist… In multiple ways.  I craft unique writing and jewelry pieces.  I draw,  and I take pictures of nature that are pleasant to look at. I write music,  and create digital pieces that are interesting. I do covers for books and word art. Yet,  many times because I am not some million dollar paid illustrator or painter I have been told that calling myself an artist is inappropriate.  So it has the question coming to mind… What then is art?  What makes an artist? 

            For me,  an artist is one who creates art… Well art is really subjective.  Art is a  thing that is created merely for to create happiness in the soul. At least that’s what it means for me.  What does art mean to you?  And what is your favorite art form? 

Clowns, Ā nothing to see here.Ā 

          OK… Lets be real for a second. I am terrible at remembering to do this blog.  I will do the topics,  just not a daily thing like I had planned. I apologize for the hiccups.  I am in a couple of writing workshops that are taking more of my energy than I planned. Add to that my novel is progressing nicely,  and the chaos that is my life… And I end up with a blog that does not get updates as often as I want it to. 

         So topic of today is clowns. Now I have been a clown.  In parades,  and store openings,  as my family did own a radio station.  My grandma did the grand openings in costumes and I went along as a clown.  It was incredibly hot,  and I grew to hate that costume. In general I think clowns are creepy,  and thanks to Tim Curry in It I have been quite afraid of them for years.  Still,  having just tonight I found myself wanting to see the remake in the theater.  

        What is the part about clowns that causes fear in so many?  I am not sure.  I think that it is the creepy forced smile that is painted on so many of them.  Are you afraid of clowns?  If so,  why? 

VillainsĀ 

      First off,  I apologize for being a day late in posting. The headache monster visited yesterday,  so I got little of my work accomplished. 

      Villains are tricky.  We as writers often see the villain as a tool,  two dimensional concept of evil…as a reader though I am here to tell you that is the end of a story.  Even worse than plot holes,  a two dimensional villain is enough to ruin an otherwise great story. 

       I have a sure fire way of testing my villains.  I give them flaws,  make them as realistic as I can. Then I imagine them in town and let the mental movie unfold… I as I am watching ask myself three questions… 

1) Is the character sympathetic?  A villain who we can sympathize with will make the story more interesting.  Also I am one who thinks that the story should leave the reader wondering if they are happy with the villains defeat. 

2) Is there a way to defeat the villain?  Though I think that the villains defeat should raise questions about how the reader feels about it,  defeat is usually in the life of a villain. And a overpowering villain is often no fun for the hero… Unless the story is not supposed to get the happy ending. 

3) what are the traits that are showing up most with your villain?  Has s he/ she got flaws or traits that you should pay closer attention to? A good villain often has fears,  and accomplishments that they are proud of.  This makes a far more rounded character. Villains are still characters,  and the story is best when you treat them as such! 

AudienceĀ 

          Who is my audience?  As an author there is not a day that goes by that I am not asking myself this question.  I have, I think come to a decision on it. My children’s books: the audience is fairly obvious.  Children.  I really write them for my daughter (and now my grandson).  Which is why I believe that the third bedtime stories will be mid grade. The first two were stories written for her when she was small. The third started for a preteen. (And now she is helping me write it.  She was suggesting ideas for the story and is looking forward to hear it when it is done.  She refused me reading it until then.) But I write more than just children’s books.  

        My poetry I have always written for me. So do I really have an audience for it?  Yes,  and no.  It is always going to be how I cope with the world… It is more that then it is written for a particular audience. That being said,  the reason why I published it is because my coping mechanisms can possibly help someone else who may be in a bad place. Or not,  I am not sure it matters there.  My poetry is the clearest view inside of my soul. To tell the truth I publish it because I can.  I have lost so much of my poetry over the years… This is the way of preserving it digitally so I will not lose anymore. 

        Last but not least,  there is Serena’s stories. Anything that I write that is adult in nature will be published under Serena Mossgraves.  Currently that seems to be horror.  I am not sure if it all will be… I just know that I will not be doing erotica… It embarrasses me to write it.  So I figure her audience will be adults,  preferably who enjoy what I write.  

          All seems simple enough.  I only hope that I am able to create a story that someone likes.